Warnings Have Gone Out

I'd like to thank everybody who was thoughtful enough to bring this to my attention. Upon realizing what this meant, I immediately called all of my friends and family members in Pennsylvania and advised them to take appropriate precautions.

They'll all be wearing bright orange and staying indoors because Dick Cheney is duck hunting in Pennsylvania.

Mr. Cheney will be in possession of a firearm within just 20 or 30 miles of where my Aunt and Uncle live. They're taking extra precautions, spending the day in the basement.

The rest of my friends and family, though hundreds of miles removed from 'Dead-Eye Dick's' hunting location will remain vigilant.

You can't be too careful with terrorists Dick Cheney wandering around with a shotgun in his hands.